


Frequency

by anonymouse_fiction



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Gen, Humor, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6488893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymouse_fiction/pseuds/anonymouse_fiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is sick of a certain dog's habit of snickering. Pit sets out to fix that... and causes more collateral damage than intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Frequency

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know about the rest of you, but I think Duck Hunt Dog is obnoxious. Hence, to take out my frustrations, I wrote something (that I hope is) funny. Fox and Link got mixed up in there too... not too sure how that happened.

~Never give an angel a dog whistle. EVER. ~

       Duck Hunt Dog was an oddity, to say the least. Most of the Smashers, newcomer and veteran alike, honestly hadn’t seen that one coming. Most accepted him; others just pretended he didn’t exist. Though as the months began to come and go, the Smashers quickly realized something. After enduring many battles of many types with the newcomer canine, most everyone in the Smash Mansion was in agreement of one thing: that dog had to change, or he had to GO. Especially in the opinion of a certain angel…

“Stupid dog and his stupid duck and his stupid exploding cans… CANS aren’t meant to EXPLODE! SERIOUSLY, that’s gotta be against the rules somewhere!!” Pit griped as he made his way back from the recovery room, still shaking soot out of his wings from one of the explosions.

       Pit stalked up the stairs to his and Kuro’s room, grumbling agitatedly. Most Smashers weren’t used to seeing him so upset, and automatically gave him a wide berth. Others gave him a look of sympathy, knowing exactly what had occurred. One, though, didn’t get out of the way in time and ran right into Pit.

“Hey-a! Watcha where you’re going!” Wario snapped at the angel. Pit’s wings fluffed up in indignation and he got right in Wario’s face. Wario stumbled back a bit, unaccustomed to Pit being aggressive, especially with that mean of a look in his eye.

“Did you just take an exploding can to the face, followed by being shot up by a gang of gunslingers?” Pit asked, his voice low. Wario gulped and shook his head no.

“Then don’t get short with me, tubby.” He said, giving Wario a good poke on the nose to make sure his message got across. He moved around the treasure hunter and made his way into his room, now thoroughly cross.

\-----

       Kuro heard the door open, wincing when it was followed by a slam. He looked up from polishing his staff to see Pit flop down face first on his bed. Kuro snickered as he heard Pit scream into his pillow. Pit’s head snapped up and he shot Kuro a glare.

“And what are YOU laughing at?!” he grumped, shifting into a sitting position.

“My idiot twin being a grump. Seriously, what’s got your feathers all fluffed?” he asked, setting the staff aside. Pit sighed heavily.

“That stupid dog beat me again…” Kuro shuddered.

“Get ya with the can again?”

“Yup.”

“And then that gang of shooters?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Pfff. Geez, you got screwed!” Kuro laughed out, earning him yet another glare from his twin.

“Yeah, no kidding. Seriously, explosives need to get banned!” Pit said with finality. Kuro cocked an eyebrow.

“Really? So, you’re gonna make Link get rid of his bombs? And Samus get rid of her missiles? And Mega Man get rid of his-”

“Alright, alright I get it! Sheesh! How ‘bout a little sympathy, ya jerk?!” Pit said, pouting. Kuro sighed.

“Look, I get where you’re coming from; that dog is pretty OP. But you don’t seem to care about other Smashers using explosives… so what makes him so different?” Pit cocked his head, thinking about his twin’s question, before coming to a conclusion.

“Probably that stupid taunt of his that he loves so much…”

“The one where he snickers at you?”

“YEAH! That’s the one! Ooh, that makes me so mad!! It’s like insult to injury!” Kuro rolled his eyes.

“That’s kind of the purpose of a taunt, Pit, but whatever. I will agree that it’s annoying at Hell.” Pit nodded.

“I just wish there was a way to train him not to do that or something!”

“Why don’t you ask Lady Palutena for a dog whistle? Y’know, to train him with?” Pit looked up at his twin and smiled.

“Hey, I didn’t think of that! Thanks, Kuro; I’ll do that! But before I do… uh, have we got any hand sanitizer?” Kuro cocked his head.

“No, why?” Pit grinned sheepishly.

“I kinda jabbed Wario in the nose and I wanted to kill any of his weirdo germs before they get to me.” Kuro smirked.

“Too late for that; you’re already pretty weird.”

“HEY!”

“Hey, yourself! You walked right into that one!” Pit sighed in defeat.

“And here I thought we’d made some progress with you being nicer…” Kuro laughed.

“Right. The day I become nice like you is the day the world ends.” Pit rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the advice, at least. See ya.” Pit muttered as he headed out of their room. Kuro gave a relieved sigh.

“‘Bout time; maybe now I can get my staff up to snuff!” he said as he went back to work.

\-----

       Pit grinned as he looked down at the silver whistle in his palm. Lady Palutena hadn’t objected to his inquiry and had happily provided him with it. Snickering a little bit, he looked around the corner and into one of the many entertainment rooms that were in the Mansion. Link, Fox, and the object of his mission were all in the room. Link and Fox were in the middle of a heated game of chess while Duck Hunt Dog watched intently, snickering whenever one of them lost an important piece. Pit couldn’t help but smirk.

‘Alright, Lady Palutena said all I have to do is blow the whistle hard every time I see him snicker, so…’ Pit peeked around the corner again, waiting for his chance.

“Checkmate!” Link said with a smirk, making Fox give a shout of unhappy defeat and Duck Hunt Dog snicker once more. Pit smiled.

‘Now!’ Pit thought as he brought the whistle to his lips. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes, blowing as hard as he could.  

       Unfortunately, due to having his eyes closed, Pit failed to see the chaos unfold. All three of the occupants in the room ears perked at the noise, but it had varied effects as it carried on. Fox furrowed his brows in annoyance and covered his ears, looking around the room for the source of the incessant sound. Duck Hunt Dog immediately sat down and looked in the direction of the whistle, anticipating the owner to give a command. Link, on the other hand, covered his ears and fell out of his chair. He curled up in a ball; desperate to shut out the noise that he felt was making his ears bleed. Fox noticed that Duck Hunt Dog was looking in a fixed direction, with his head cocked expectantly. Looking in the direction Duck Hunt Dog was, Fox got up and walked towards the entrance of the room and peered out. Upon looking, he saw Pit blowing on the whistle, nearly red in the face with effort. Rolling his eyes, he snatched the whistle away.

“Hey?! What gives; I was kinda doing something!” Pit shouted at Fox. Fox chuckled.

“Yeah, I noticed. I’m guessing you wanted to train Duck Hunt Dog with this thing?” Pit looked at him, astonished.

“Yeah! How’d you know?”

“There’s not much else you do with a dog whistle. But I hate to tell ya that he’s already trained; poor pup’s pretty confused right now.”

“I don’t see how. I think it’s broken, to be honest.” Fox cocked his head in confusion at the angel's statement.

“No, it works.” Fox said, looking at the whistle. Pit looked at it skeptically.

“But I didn’t hear anything!” Fox facepalmed.

“You can’t hear a dog whistle, featherbrain! Only dogs and people with sensitive enough ears can!”

“Oh, really? Prove it!” Pit said, wings opening behind him in defiance. Fox sighed.

“Fine, just take a look in there.” He said, pointing into the room. Pit cocked his head and peered into the room to see Duck Hunt Dog looking around and whimpering. And a certain Hylian curled up on the floor, trembling.

“Oh geez! Link! Link, are you okay, buddy?” Pit said in alarm as he rushed over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder to let him know he was there.

“Sweet Farore, make it stop…” Link muttered, a look of pained horror on his face. Pit bit his lip, unsure of what to do.

“Don’t worry; he’ll be fine in a minute.” Fox said, putting a hand on Pit's shoulder to hopefully comfort him. Pit sighed and looked over to Duck Hunt Dog, who was still looking around.

“Hey, uh… Duck Hunt Dog?” the canine’s ears perked and he walked over to Pit, sitting obediently next to him.

“Oh, wow! That actually worked! Uh, okay… try to lay off that snickering taunt of yours. It’s bugging a lot of us Smashers, y’know?” the dog cocked his head before nodding. Pit smiled.

“Thanks… and sorry for confusing you.” Duck Hunt Dog just gave Pit a lick on the face before walking out of the room, making the angel giggle a bit.

“Say, Fox?”

“Yeah, Pit?”

“How come you weren’t affected by the whistle?” Fox heaved a sigh.

“I was. I’ve got a little headache now, but I’ve had worse. No offense to Slippy, but after years of hearing him carrying on over the radio chatter, I’ve kinda become immune to annoyingly high frequencies… especially persistent ones.” Pit couldn’t help but laugh at that.

 “Sorry, Fox. I only thought it would affect Duck Hunt Dog because… well, you’re a fox and Link’s a Hylian.” Fox chuckled.

“Yeah, but what can Link become under the right circumstances?” Pit blanched.

“A wolf… Ah, man. I am such a moron!” Fox sighed.

“I can’t blame you, though. You followed simple logic and couldn’t have predicted that Link would still be affected in that form… we’re both sort of a crapshoot. Oh, speaking of… Morning, sunshine!” Fox said with a laugh. Link sat up, a haggard look on his face.

“Ugh… what WAS that Goddess damned noise?!” he asked, looking around for the source. Pit looked away shamefully while Fox dangled the whistle in front of the Hylian’s face.

“Pit tried using a dog whistle to train Duck Hunt Dog not to snicker. He didn’t think it would affect you, too.” Fox said, jabbing a thumb in Pit's direction. Link looked over to the angel and sighed.

“I’m not mad at you, Pit. So wipe that dejected look off your face.” Link said with a tired smile. Pit looked up and gave him a sheepish grin.

“I kinda forgot you can turn into a wolf, Link…” Link chuckled a little.

“Well, it certainly was an unexpected side effect. Now…” Link snatched the whistle away from Fox and dropped it into his pouch, never to be heard from again.

“We never use one of these in the mansion again, nor do we tell anyone of this. Clear?” Pit and Fox both nodded in agreement, both gulping at the murderous glint in Link's eye.

Needless to say, there was much less snickering on the battlefield, and dog whistles were never heard from again in the Smash Mansion.

**Author's Note:**

> Just how much stuff does Link have floating around in that pouch, anyways?


End file.
